Was it me that said those words ?Or was it my mind that is filled with those insults,
opinions,and desires that will never be told,
because in all actuality I think before I speak.
Is it all a dream
or did I act out this life scene
without any compassion for your feelings
or any guilt in my heart.
Did I ignore your cry or neglect your needs
while wondering around like nothing happened.
Was I so drunk with unresolved emotion
that I forgot that you were a person standing before me?
Something had to have happened, why else would you cry.
Did I OD on love to the point where I have become numb
or did I allow life to frustrate me to the point where I can't breathe.
Either way I hurt you with no intent
and I'm sorry for that.
I thought I had control, but obviously I didn't.
My unconscious mind prevailed
and I'm no longer me
So it's best that we move on.
I'm so mixed about this that it makes me angry, LOL. You'll never know how a person truly feels about you ever. everyone has there opinions like I can tell how a person feel by there actions blaze, blaze...And alot of times people tend to put focus on their needs and what they assume to be the needs of their partners. If people communicated more, then there wouldn't be so many unresolved issues and unspoken wishes. Because after a while when needs dont get met and feelings get hurt, resentment starts to settle in and the relationship is unrepairable beyond that point. Its crazy.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I think sometimes fear is the motivator for lack of communication. Sometimes their isn't a nice way to tell a person that they aren't making you happy. It all usually comes out in some petty argument and before you know both parties are saying things that you can't take back. Most times it's just beyond repair because both parties never really forget what the other said. i definelty feel you.It's crazy
ReplyDeletevery honest - commendable inner perception
ReplyDeleteto how your mind was working the time and
how this impacted your actions - and on top
of this very well-written.
@Nadege.. Sometimes we get so caught up in tryna win the arguement that we say and do things that can't take back. In the end it's best to just part ways. Thanks 4 stopping by.
ReplyDeleteI sat and read this again and again. It fits perfectly with some sentiments I share for an ex who, after the relationship ended, left me to ponder my own personal actions. So, yes, once again, I feel you.
ReplyDeleteYep @ Either way I hurt you with no intent
and I'm sorry for that.
I thought I had control, but obviously I didn't.
Good prose.
this was very nice...i could relate.
ReplyDelete@ Sunshine Writer. Thanks! I appreciate you stopping by.
ReplyDelete@ Don...Thanks! You your thoughts are always appreciated.
ReplyDeleteChamp…Wow how did I miss this post! The way you've described these emotions, actions so relatable to say the least. I've experienced these intensities first hand and prayed it was all just a dream.
ReplyDeleteMeagan
@Meagan... I know rt. Once it's said you can't take it back.
ReplyDeleteChamp thanks for directing me here, this was moving. Love or should I say, relationships, are hard work & as you mentioned communication is the key!
ReplyDeleteReally 'seeing'& 'hearing' each other! Even at those times when you fail to agree. Thanks for sharing this with me.
@Katherine....No problem. I thought u would enjoy. Thanks 4 stopping by!
ReplyDeleteBottom line...I love it. =)
ReplyDelete@Neurosis.....Thanks!
ReplyDeleteExcellent read.
ReplyDeleteMany things can be undone, but words cannot be unsaid. I wonder how many relationships have fallen over a minute's worth of words?!? Some things are best left unsaid.
@Reggie.......I def feel u. Sometimes we need to agree to disagree.
ReplyDeleteMy only question about this poem is why move on if you know it's you? Are you moving on because there are things you need to work on?
ReplyDeleteI'm also confused about what it means to OD on love to the point you become numb.
I've been through a lot of things but I guess I'm a little inexperienced in this area.
@ksuitt.......The poem is not recoginizing that it's his fault rather his role in constant fighting. Their are times where you get into repetative arguments wit your bf or gf and you both get to the point where you are throwing insults at eachother constantly. You get so used to it that you become numb. U both have said things that you can't take back and everytime u try to make it work u find urself doing the same thing again. At some point u have to tell urself it's time to move on because feelings have been hurt and u can't take it back.
ReplyDeleteI love this.. I wish my recent ex knew how to be so honest as its hard to move on when it seems your the only person being self aware (taking responsibility)...
ReplyDelete@Ms esk...Thanks 4 stopping by. So many people want to blame others and all they do is take the same issues into the next relationship. I dnt care how bad your previous relationship was you could have always done something alittle different. It starts with self.
ReplyDeleteI have lived this poem a thousand times or more in my past life. You get caught up in the back and forth and lose sight of what purposes you and whoever are together. I have learned a few way to lessen the chance of this happening. To be relational you have to be curtious and mindfull or each others feelings. Both parties need exercise bounderies, respect each others bounderies. And don't try to be a mind reader. Ask for what you want, and except no...Great work
ReplyDelete@Carlus Wilmot....I couldn't agree with u more. Being curtious and considerate can carry u far in ur relationship.
ReplyDelete